When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

Thursday, 24 October 2013

where do broken hearts go (part 1)-tease

She danced like a skilled stripper as she looked through the corner of her eye at what she thought was the most beautiful thing.
She was full of energy and wild, she had had her wild days and had the confidence of a lioness.
She smiled and made flirty gestures to him but he still shied away.
She then walked to him and begun to give him what seemed like a strip tease. His friends cheered him up.
He eventually got up slowly. He couldn't quite dance but she was determined to give him a night he would never forget and at least that she hoped she did because she could never forget it.
The night was perfect! Prom night always was special. Junior prom had just proven this with this new found friendship...could it be love at first sight, could it be a possible beautiful relationship...
It was so perfect. Oh that it was!
She moved like a queen dancer and he moved like a sea-saw but it didn't matter. Holy had managed to put a smile on his face and that is all that mattered.

Days went and the two had become the perfect pair. the shy had become more confident and the wild had become calmer.
Dear Holy, 
.......
Love, Snowy
The letters begun to come in and Holy thought she was the luckiest girl in the world. All her hard work of not giving every douche bag a chance had finally paid off...
Then the special moment came...
Her mouth curved in the most delightful way as the first act of love was passed from mouth to mouth.
Blush shot up his cheeks in the most fiery way there was.
He was shy, she was fierce.
"Is that what a kiss is?" He asked.
"Oh, I'll show you tomorrow," she winked and smiled.
He watched her leave in pure adoration and joy.
She jumped away playfully as she was on her way home.
From a distance she could have sworn she saw the silhouette smile!
She had given him his first kiss , it was beyond the imaginable.
First young love felt so real. Everything was just exciting and going too fast....
Then with end of the year came an end of great things, what was just yet blossoming..
He felt like he was growing too fast, he told her he still felt young.
She broke down, her first love had suddenly walked  out on her just when she thought it was magic and rainbows.
Junior highschool ended and then came senior year but Holy always had the love that Snowy held in her heart.
She knew she should let go but she never dared let go.
Until finally Snowy begun to date.
She felt lost, she lost herself. She went through series of bad decision after the other.
The years ran by so fast and senior year ended.

Once again a new year had begun with much potential. Holy over 18 and more grown up now once again spotted Snowy in the club looking depressed.
Instantly the fire was re-sparked......

Monday, 21 October 2013

What's in a name?

Another riddle yet again crossed my mind.
Was it me or was it him?
Had I tried or had I not tried?
My mind once again was going through immeasurable agony.
I had no control of my mind as wild thoughts shifted from bad case scenario to worst case scenario.
I had nothing in it for me.
I tried to think positive but resentment and anger had clouded my judgment.
I tried to clear the clutter of thought in my mind but it was all in vain.
My hands tried desperately not to shiver.
The truth had long been tempered with and the possibility that I was overreacting was on chance of 50-50.
I rubbed my eyes, then my temple as if to erase off the bad thought, memories and negativity.
I rummaged through my brain and almost felt like i was picking it literally.
The answers that i sought wrung my heart.
 I felt like my world was collapsing right in front of me.
The once wise quote I'd heard over and over again ran through my mind. "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me!
It finally begun to make sense.
Over the years of trying I had hopelessly lost myself, i had put myself in the position to be vulnerable.
I'd let my delusions control me once again.
A cry for help I thought, this is a cry for help.
And then i stared in agitation at the blade besides me.
I walked over to the balcony and the distance far below me made me shiver.
I wasn't brave nor a coward.
I was HOPE. Yes that was it
What's in a name? what's in my name?
Suddenly my head cleared, I just had to remember what was in my name?
The source of all optimism and positiveness. 
I didn't smile but I knew ...I knew that only I had control over my thoughts!