Saturday, 13 July 2013
I’ve been living out of my skin and watching myself do what I do every day. Watch how I go about with my everyday life. There is a colossal void inside me. It is definitely the vastest thing that makes me feel like someone dug a hole right through my heart.
My heart wrings internally. I feel like pieces of it are being slowly melted by a rancorous fervour.
A ball of discomposure, soreness and disillusion bedevils at my heart. My heart beat sounds like a sound track from a bloody slasher movie.
Flashes of bad memories, horrible mistakes and continuous disappointments replay in my head but I can almost feel them…like I am reliving them.
My heart cries out for mercy but my torture chamber has just been set up.
The hole grows bigger with every hour that passes.
Why can’t I stop feeling like this? Why can it not be easy?
Suicidal intentions cling to my mind as I stare over my 7th floor balcony.
The thought of crushing my bones against rough stones and tarmac make me quiver inwardly.
The emptiness in my heart begins to grow smaller as I realize the value of life
Smaller but not gone, stashed away yet clinging painfully to my heart