When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

Saturday, 25 May 2013

the sky is not the limit



Colours infused into life and life infused into colors. My heart rises and falls at such unspoken and pure beauty.
The birds in the sky crave to be loved and baked in the care of the soft beckoning clouds.
The sky is not the limit…it never was.
A song plays calmly in my head.
What inspired me beyond the green of mother nature- what inspires me above the brown of the semi-desert.
A new realization downs on me as I sit on the balcony. I can hear the mariachi band play in my head once more.
The once lost me is now back. The need to belong to a certain club is something that my heart no longer desires.
My fears, distraught and a lot of other negative thoughts I had have been sucked into an invisible vacuum I could care less about.
The only things that make me feel alive are the beauties of nature that narrate a history of the universe’s creative doing.
I aim to shoot and I shoot to aim. The only true things that really drive me to pursue my goals.
The whisper of the winds speak silently of future goals that had been stashed away for tomorrow’s references.
My heart is no longer empty as the power to succeed envelops my heart and mind.
The sky is not the limit…it never was.

victimize


The lies had become a habit and everything that seemed to come out was twisted and different every day.
Victimizing was the only thing that she could have done to make herself become more miserable.
The negative thoughts flooded in like the hurricane.
The weak hearts tore into pieces and the only thing that could save her was her imagination.
The tides were getting high and the little things in life that didn’t matter before begun to matter.
Old wounds got refreshed over and over again by the teasing waves of hopelessness.
The fear of tomorrow made her shiver and shriek. The sun shone brightly but she still caved in under her blankets.
Reality became her enemy and dreams became her nightmare.
A lot of chains were binding her and she was glued to the dark past.
The only person who could break those heavy chains was herself.

the girl i knew


The girl she used to be …that I remember
She always wanted to be a member
Of that little wanna-be squad
 oh that she did
I recall her looking like a squid
Color of the peacock loaded up on her eye lid
Oh how my heart fell for I knew
How much you had to go through when you were new

The little sweet girl she used to be, I cannot forget
The things she is doing now, only she can regret
Later on in life, when the things she wants, she cannot get.

The girl so full of life and so na├»ve – that she was
Always trying to get life’s best buzz
Only she never realized how life got tough
And how things got sore and rough
Oh that I bet she didn’t see it coming
But her reaction was surprisingly calming

Oh she used to be the sweetest girl
All she really needed was a twirl
At a ball and maybe she could have ended up better
But no, she wanted to be greater
Greater than the master himself
And yes, she ended up ruining herself
And the sweetest girl I knew was no more
She had broken down herself to the core.


Friday, 24 May 2013

A beautiful nightmare


The bird in the distance becomes an airplane is it approaches and becomes more visible.
The drizzles become heavy rains as the trees shiver in agony.
I am lucky to be sheltered.
I stick out my hand from the balcony and feel the stinging yet gentle showers.
It is a reminder that life is always beautiful- that anything so small can become really big.
Life is a game and it is the universe that we only have to answer to.
Winds blow smoothly through my freshly conditioned hair, my lips are dry from too much sleep, my eyes are swollen from too much entertainment.
The door closes and the window opens
A butterfly flies in the far distance to remind me that the rain has stopped
Cars speed nosily on the road and people scream for attention way below my level.
Everything seems to be frozen yet it still moves really fast.
My mind is racing again like a loose goose. God I should stop, creativity is at its best as my mind changes birds to dragons and winds to fire
I am in a war torn zone where life is extinct. My whole body is paralyzed and my sword is drenched with innocent blood.
My body hurts but I feel myself rise to the dragon then I fall into the black whole way down below
My eyes open slowly and I am back to reality.
My pen beckons me to get back to the desk and write
A lonely lullaby has been sung, hearts have sunk like the titanic- yet my hear still beats and my mouth curves wryly to smile…
A message has been sent. The universe is giving back 

Sunday, 19 May 2013

a few days left


Occasionally I feel resilient and other times I feel certainly puny.
It’s only been a few days and there’s no telling where this is going.
The inner on-going battle is the mammoth scuffle of them all.
Sometimes the feeling of weakness, treachery, guilt and delusion ensnare me and my soul caves in.
My body is feeble and my heart is shattered into pieces.
Other times my will is sturdy as metal.
I haven’t stood alone in years and this is my first time to prove that I can get it on on my own.
Everything around me screams   in controversy, contradiction.
The weakness within me pushes me to keep in contact but the strength within me detaches my soul from my body….only for a while
Strength at this point is entirely supernatural.
The constant battle to hold on and not let insanity corrupt me is driving my mind towards suicide; or at least used to.
My raging inner demons are always threatening to attack but by the power invested in me by my greater deity I refute defeat.
Step by step is the process I will need to heal. The years that I spend pinching my self to wake up have paid off.
My eyes are no longer running and my teeth are not gritted.
There is a sudden calmness although ghosts of the past try to pull me to the dark side.
Maturity has taken its toll, once I couldn’t have handled it like that…and once is not so long ago.
The rebellious dragon within me threatens to produce fire but the coolness with in extinguishes it out.
The freedom of inner peace is working its magic…but it can’t be guaranteed that anything is permanent…after all its only been few days.

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

perfection


We create our own little perfect world where we expect everyone in our lives to be perfect. Forgetting that us ourselves cannot be happy with this ideal since we are not perfect.
The good guy becomes the evil villain with every single mistake that he makes not considering the fact that we could have contributed to such a tragedy.
A world of hopelessness begins to unfold and we can only cling to reality by creating the imaginary.
Our hearts suffer heartbreaks that we could have avoided had we even been slightly remotely happy.
Conscious and unconscious memories become torturers of our vengeful souls.
Tears that many a time we promised not to cry become like drizzles in the rainy season. Expected yet we still go ahead to fall into our delay routine.
Bad habits begin to get back in contact with you because you never recovered from your earlier distraught.
The wind blows sparingly yet grudgingly into your stiff hair.
The blame is to go to all the people that never tried. The people that never were there when you needed them the most become part of the blame game never forgetting that you could have done something to contribute to this in your past life.
Suicide slips into the mind as control is the last thing your body can accept.
Insanity sneaks in once in a while and the only grip you have is the false hope that everything can get back to normal.
But what’s normal. Shakespeare did say is better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all.
What’s a heart for if all it’s gonna get is broken.
Warning signs of doom linger dangerously as situation slowly falls out of hand. Nothing and no one can save you but yourself.
Self pity, blame and insecurity become your major characteristic. Everything you see is sending a message and the only emotion right now is to attack.
Worlds of hash past begin to flood in because forgiveness never was your thing.
All the past pain that you ever felt stayed clogged in your chest and that’s what was suffocating you in the first place.
Going over and over with thoughts of what used to be, what could be and what could never be. The repetition goes on but nothing gets better.
The words that you so desperately never wanted to hear are the only things you can truly hear. “let go, forgive and forget.’
The hardest things yet the wisest things to do.
Reality has kicked in and there is no denying it this time.
The long awaited yet ignored time is here and you have to do exactly what the hardest thing is.
Tears have welled out so many times and the only salty water you need is saliva going down your throat for you’ve swallowed your pain, pride and disillusions and let your soul go free.
You’ve forgiven, forgotten and appreciated that life comes with no instructions and the best you can do is just have fun while it lasts.
A deep breathe calms you slowly for the first time and you know the chapter is closed. The monster has left the cage and into the fire. Never to return for its rough skin has been burnt straight to ashes.
So long my beautiful illusion my heart has now bounced back, dark shadows lark no more in this territory.
The sweetness of life has returned and only the beautiful memories can last forever.

Saturday, 11 May 2013

Treasure



Weird how a cloth you once treasured so much becomes trash.
You use it to clean your feet you soaked in a bucket so religiously to get rid of the dead skin,
Use it to dry your freshly conditioned hair because your towel is too good for the job,
Use it to clean and dust all your dusty staff before you realize you just can’t throw it away
It was once your precious little purple shirt
You get detergent and fabric softener to treat it but not because you want it back
Someone else needs it more than you, it’s time to let it go and put it in that charity donation box.
Once your lucky shirt and now your rag, it surely can’t end this way
Someone out there will always see another man’s trash as their treasure
With all the work it did, from making your boobs pop in it on a funky Saturday night to cleaning your freshly pampered feet…
It sure deserves a happy ending too