Thursday, 11 April 2013
little monster creation
Every now and then something had popped up in her head. An idea of what could have happened for her to create this estranged character. A lot of things ran threw her mind but the real issue that bounced back now and then was that it was her. Her ambitions and motivations had driven her so hard that she had only focused on an unrealistic outcome rather than the real issue at hand.
She had always trusted her mind to tell her what was right despite the heart’s raging jealousy to block her from her destiny. But right now trust had become an issue.
She flipped through the pages of her new book and they stared back at her, the story board was not going to be needed. The way she had visualized things could not be put into a storyboard. She studied her character carefully again.
At the beginning of her chapter, her character had been like an open book which was ironic because now she could not open the book. It brought tears to her eyes.
The character was loving, trustworthy, faithful and had absolutely nothing to hide. Everyone respected her, she was her own independent person who never cared to fit it, she intimidated people but that’s what made her special.
She blinked back tears of betrayal; so many lies had occurred; little things that seemed petty were growing into a huge mountain of lies. Esther threw the book away, why wouldn’t people scream at characters not to go there in real life; warn them of forth coming danger that could destroy them.
She slowly picked up the book again…. What was left of her was now an indecent morally corrupt individual who cared about her friends more than she did about herself or her health. People who are supposed to matter mattered least and the only thing she knew she needed in her hand was the life of a party and a bottle in another.
Life was a party they said, real people party every day and still manage to juggle life they said…
Then bits of it came back to her and boy did it….
The grass had always been greener on the other side. The people on the estate seemed to be freer than the rest on the other side of town. The business of the streets and the wild party life on the other hand had inspired her…actually more than inspired her.
It drove her to obsession; she so badly wanted that life that when invited, she did not hesitate. She quickly joined in and that is where the character description evolved…
She had lived it before and just when she though the drama was done and she could write a book, she had just begun. Her alter ego was just getting started. He had to enjoy that same life too. It was not always going to be about Esther….
Esther put down her book and lit a cigarette, sat by her window and now she knew she understood a thing or two about people; characters were never just come up with, the writer must have experienced something sometime so similar; in their previous life.
Otherwise, how else could a description be so perfect, a creation so real and very intriguing.