When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

Thursday, 20 September 2012

how to remove a fish bone from your throat


I am a sucker for tilapia fish. I mean i don’t even love fish in general but I would kill for a plate of whole fried tilapia fish and chips with a coleslaw or salsa salad on the side...Ugandan style of course. Ugandans will know what I am talking about ;)


We usually have this delicacy at the beach side preferably on a Sunday afternoon after church or any day on vaccay. Beautiful fresh lake tilapia fish and chips...home sweet home. These are the times I miss Uganda so much.

I would eat deep fried tilapia all the time if I had to.  It's one of my favorite local dishes.

Unfortunately this craziness for tilapia fish died out a little today- date noted Thursday, September 20th, 2012 at 9:00pm.

Earlier  I was making a bit of supper and I felt a little too hungry so I removed a small piece of fish from the others that were waiting to be lightly stir fried after a session of deep frying.

I took a bite and it was the best thing I had eaten in a long time. Then I took two other savory and mouthwatering bites and on the fourth I felt a little harsh poke at the back of my tongue.

Feeling like it was the little usual bones that stuck for a while when i was eating fish but could be easily washed down with water or a large lump of rice, I continued devouring the fish.

Only a little while later, I noticed the bone was not going down and all the time I swallowed, it cut my throat painfully and a little deeper.

As the awful realization downed on me, I rushed to the fridge and poured myself a huge glass of water (The McDonalds London Olympics gigantic glasses). I took the whole glass down but unfortunately I could still feel the goddamn thing in my throat.

I then went ahead and took another glass but all in vain. I then took a huge lump of rice and another two to push the rice down but all in vain.

Suddenly I remembered I had an apple in the fridge and it was heavier than that damned failure of rice. I tried eating the whole thing but nothing was gonna move that stubborn bone down there.

This other part is gonna gross you out; so I decided to gag too and unfortunately it was in vain but at this point my throat was on fire. I finally gave up and sat at my laptop helplessly.

Dang! Suddenly I remembered I had an even heavier thing-The internet. The solution to absolutely everything- and I am talking every goddamn thing.

So I ran to the internet, Googled "How to get the fish bone out of my throat?" and then there were the answers on display;
- Drink Olive oil to soften it but it might be a myth
I left my computer, ran to my dressing table, reached out for my olive oil and took 3 big gallops .Luckily it didn’t taste so bad. Still nothing
-Drink water and it will wash down. Tried that
- take some vinegar. I rushed out for vinegar and to my disappointment there was nothing in my fridge.
-Drink orange juice, coke or.....
Now I was not reading anymore. My throat ached and I strained it, coughed but it was all in vain.

Suddenly I read; no matter what, do not strain the throat or cough or it will push it even further into the flesh. Panic washed over me, it was too late; maybe I was gonna die or something.

Naturally, I logged onto Facebook and posted about how the stupid bone was stuck in my throat and  fortunately I got some answers. On the negative side, the same answers I got were the ones I was reading on the internet earlier.

Almost giving up hope, I typed; "fish bone stuck in my throat, help." Then I stumbled upon a blog in which the blogger was saying how he had the same problem previously.

Oh happy day! I did my happy dance then read on.  Apparently, step one was to look at the mirror, feel the location of the bone with a finger, get a flash light then use a pair of tweezers to remove.
OMG TWEEZERS!!?????


I looked around for tweezers and I couldn't find any. I pulled out my nail cutter and tried to use it but this was all in vain.
Meanwhile my throat ached so bad I almost cried.
I suddenly thought of something brilliant but dangerous...SCISSORS!!



SCISSORS, OMG right?!!
But I didn’t even think twice about this, I rushed to my housemate's room, asked her for her pair of scissors and went straight to my dresser.

One of my friends who was in the room begged me not to use the scissors in my mouth but in vain. We debated over it for a few minutes. She said  I’d cut my throat in the process or damage something within but all that was just passing air.

I suddenly stormed out determined. I went into the bathroom to get started.

My third housemate walked into the bathroom as it was open and looked at me struggling to take out the bone with the scissors.
She asked me to show her and she could help since this often happened to her.  She told me to open my mouth, took the flash light from my hand together with the scissors and started for the bone.

She pushed it while my mouth watered, i tried to gag, spat but nothing was shifting and someone kept distracting me by calling my phone (I was using the flash light up on my phone).
All this was getting on my nerve and yet I and my housemate were still determined to take out that little demon.

Anyway she continued hustling and she tried to cut the bone into half but in stead she slashed my throat a little. Ouch right?? It bled and I spat in agony. She asked If she could stop but I was determined to take the little rascal out. 

After a long struggle of poking and trying to remove the fish bone, she finally managed to pull it half way out of the flesh. I gagged and then it surfaced out. I spat it out in the sink with all the relief I could master.


I was relieved although a bit of blood flowed out and my throat hurt beyond description. Gross right!

Consequently, I was finally grateful to my housemate and scissors for saving my life and taking out the bone.

Sadly, I will not be eating fish in a long time. This experience was most unpleasant and painful but at least I managed to get the damn thing out of my mouth. 

Anyway moral of this story is always be careful when eating fish. You never know what that tiny bone might do to you. 
But anyway as the saying goes, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger so I am gonna stay positive although I sure don't feel like it right now :'(. 
I have wounds and a scar in my throat right now....

17 comments:

  1. very very very dangerous. glad u ayt tho

    ReplyDelete
  2. lol what doesnt kill u makes u stronger cuz :*

    ReplyDelete
  3. y i dont even want to smell fish almost died.... i totally get what you went through

    ReplyDelete
  4. Very nice and informative blog posting. Among all the fish, tilapia fish is Awesome! Tilapia fish farming is very profitable and easy. I like this fish very much for it's unique taste and nutritional value.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i know right but i gotta slow down after this :)

      Delete
  5. You were really brave (and desperate) to use scissors!

    ReplyDelete
  6. lol i was very desperate. i couldnt eat

    ReplyDelete
  7. this story is very funny and interesting hushh about the fish bone

    ReplyDelete
  8. Omg! Im crying right now. I have a fish bone stuck just beneath my tongue but im really afraid to use scissors to remove it:((((((

    ReplyDelete
  9. I got the same problem! I aint even finished getting that mother fucker out of my throat! Shit im about to die. Good ole story tho.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wow ! SMART THINKIN

    AND THESE ARE THE REASONS I ONLY

    EAT FRESH BONELESS SALMON FILLETS

    ReplyDelete
  11. I just had the same ordeal. I honestly was thinking of going to the ER to get it out. But after 2 hours I finally got it with a tweezer. Thank you for giving me the idea!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I grew up in South Florida is so seafood and fish are one of my favorite foods my boyfriend recently offered to cook me tilapiaI thought it would be an interesting. well the same damn thing happened to me a bone got stuck in my throat.needless to say I was horrified!!! he told me tilapia has no bones. well still to this day he does not believe me even after I showed him a piece of the bone. Sincerely. Deltarain913@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  13. I grew up in South Florida is so seafood and fish are one of my favorite foods my boyfriend recently offered to cook me tilapiaI thought it would be an interesting. well the same damn thing happened to me a bone got stuck in my throat.needless to say I was horrified!!! he told me tilapia has no bones. well still to this day he does not believe me even after I showed him a piece of the bone. Sincerely. Deltarain913@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete