When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Dear blog readers and followers

Dear blog readers and followers, I am so sorry I have not been able to update my blog for a while because of personal issues but I am now back full swing.

Anyway today’s article is a little different from the rest. I am doing a research paper and I need your comments and feedback on the different topic I have discussed @ http://celebcontoversy.blogspot.com/ . 

please go that link to get the articles. It is my sister blog.

Thursday, 27 September 2012

Planning is underrated

Planning is underrated

For my high school, I went to a prestigious school in my country called Taibah College School .We were encouraged to set out “targets” and objectives in our “planners” during peer group sessions we referred to registration.

We always felt too lazy or got really angry at our “peer tutors” for making us plan every week and that is the first thing I remember about registration of course, Oh and our dear peer tutor; Tr. Eddie. (God bless him!)

Now peer groups were formed in a way that all people in the same grade were divided into 2, 3 or even 4 (depending on how large the group is) different groups which we referred to as peer groups. Our peer group was referred to as to as Simba…the mighty and notorious Simba but will probably get to that in another article altogether.

Each peer group had a class teacher or head we referred to as a peer tutor. They led our peer group sessions/ registration which were held at the beginning of each school day. Registration’s sole purpose was to promote Taibah’s 3cs which were; Confidence, Creativity and Critical thinking and I can now sure say it did.

Back to the main story, we always hated planning anyway. However, we had no escape because our peer tutors would collect the planners on Friday and see if we have really been planning.
If you didn’t plan, you were punished by being told to wash huge school saucepans in which the school meals were cooked.

Anyway, as Friday was approaching we would actually start planning so the peer tutor thinks you were serious all week. However, now that I look at it, it was very immature and we were really cheating ourselves but hey we all know how high school kids can get.

Surprisingly, it became a habit even after high school. I would plan in my diary or in my notebook for my mini internships before university.
I would just do it as it had become part of me but in the long run I noticed myself going over what I had planned to see if I had achieved anything. Indeed I would achieve half or more than half of my goals.

By the time I joined the university; I was totally into the planning habit and it became a thing. Don’t get me wrong I am not the goodie-too-shoes who will throw my social life away for good grades but I’ll always ensure I have all my work and attend all my lectures as scheduled.

Many a time my friends say, “Hope, you are always partying, how you do it?”
“Well, I plan” is what I tell them. Now, I am not insinuating that I never procrastinate or plan for every single thing in my life.

However when you plan, even if you don’t follow it, the reminder is right there on paper and the guilt will eat you up every time you open your note book until you do as you planned.

Anyway my point of the story here is planning is very crucial and even if you don’t do as planned now, writing it down will get you motivated to do so because every time you look at the writing it reminds you that there’s an unfinished part of your life somewhere. Think of it that way and you are good to go!

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Ode to that bitch

Ode to that bitch

Ode to the girl that made you feel inferior
That bitch that thought she would walk over you
And make your life a living hell while she felt superior
Odd to the babe who tried to bring you down all the damn while
And you would not get back at her because it wasn’t your style
But now that you look at her today
She looks horrible and karma has favored you well anyway

Ode to that girl, who turned everyone against you,
Who brought out the worst in you
When you could not take that shit anymore
That girl pushed you to the edge even more
But you kept you cool
And let her look like a fool

Ode to that girl who laughed in your face
And made sure you lost every race…
Well this time, it's not a contest
Because what I am about to do; I do it best
So all you have to do is take a rest
And if you want it more clearly rest in peace
Because I just killed that girl and she is not in one piece

Is this what love feels like?

Is this what love feels like?

Dreamy sighs and happy silent smiles trace lightly upon my face like a sunbeam penetrating delicately through a cloud

Blinking is not an option for the wistful eyes are focused on some distant sweet memory that only seems like a dream away

Soft kisses on my cheeks, forehead and….oh the good things that came with those…the laughter that we shared just yesterday already seems like ages ago

Is this how it feels like to miss someone? Suddenly I just want to sleep all day if you’re not around so that I can at least have a dream about you and see your face

After all, all my dreams these days are all about you
Is this what love feels like?

Monday, 24 September 2012

how to get inspired

How to get inspired

The dark horrendous shadow that becomes a lax cloud… and colossal trees that yield fruit with blood…..then the sound of the bees….no a hammer….no a bell- yes a bell…a school bell….wait the school bell? What the school bell?

Oh damn, there’s no goddamn school bell. I am living in a discreet residential condominium and I am in the University. There is no such thing as a crowded boarding house (I have been in boarding school all through my High school) or the most dreaded school bell.

This only means one thing….the infuriatingly loud alarm clock. The aggravating little imp goes off and I will religiously snooze three times every morning on a week day.

The usual routine is grumbling how I hate school or my life and rolling out of bed like dough under a rolling pin; followed by stretching lazily like a little kitten deprived of sleep.

This routine goes on every day at 8am on the weekday except Friday when I don’t have any lectures, fortunately.

Then kicks in the guilt as I drag lazily to the bathroom like a mistreated child. That song in my head…yes this usual familiar song I’ve sang in my head every morning for at least 5 years or usually when I’m lazy begins to play in my head. (If you have watched “sister act 2” you will know this song)
“I f you wanna be some body, if you wanna go somewhere
You better wake up and pay attention”

Almost immediately these lyrics sink in (there’s no need to elucidate this, it’s as literal as it gets) I instantly gain my full energy and jump into the shower full force.

That is my first dose of inspiration.

I’m done doing everything that I need to do by 8:45 including showering, dressing up, making up doing my hair and all that girly staff.

Then as I leave my house and I am walking over to the taxi stand, there is this lady jogging in the most graceful yet very resolute way.
WOW and the wonderful thing is I have seen her do this every day for the past one and a half years I have been residing in this condominium.

If she is not jogging, she is doing yoga. So sophisticated, tranquil and steadfast she goes on about her routine. This poise and splendor reminds me of the peacock- serene and effortlessness despite the huge trail of feathers she has to carry. Incredible…absolutely astonishing!

This is my second dose of inspiration.         

As I further advance to the main gate where the taxis always wait – it is some kind of pick-up point, I see a team of grannies with their grandkids. Toddlers and grandmothers walking hand in hand- the most endearing sight my eyes ever saw. So loving, people of different generation…pure blood, pure incorruptibility and pure love so vast it can be passed around the whole world.
At this point I have a smile so big I don’t even think about the passing time because;

There is my third dose of inspiration.

At last I get into my taxi, fully inspired and very ready to go on about with my school work.  Maybe I will be a little sleepy sometimes but I will always remember the good little things that get me going in the morning when I feel like giving up; the song, the lady with the yoga routine and the team of grandmothers and their grandchildren. The remarkable things that are right in front of me every morning.
With this thought, I am able to go on strong throughout the day- not missing any lecture that I have scheduled.

Time flies by so fast at last and it is time to go home. It is 6pm in the evening. I feel drained and thinking about all the work I have to do when I go home makes me even more tired.

I get into my taxi and in 12 minutes I am home. I drag on lazily like a hungry angry child. I walk as slow as a snail into the gate down to my block.

In the near distance I see the lady – yes the yoga lady, walking so fast going about her routine. Looking so tired yet so alive and unwavering- face of a real strong woman who will not give up no matter what.

 I look down at her belly and I notice there is a little angel on the way. With the buggy shirt she always wore, I must have not noticed this a little earlier.
How lucky she is to have some an inspiration so close to her!  I think nostalgically.  I pass her with a smile and she returns it with the same good intentions.

I look at the sun dimming out a little in the sky and I walk home feeling less tired and more determined to do all my assignments and work because;

Those are my doses of inspiration!

Thursday, 20 September 2012

how to remove a fish bone from your throat

I am a sucker for tilapia fish. I mean i don’t even love fish in general but I would kill for a plate of whole fried tilapia fish and chips with a coleslaw or salsa salad on the side...Ugandan style of course. Ugandans will know what I am talking about ;)

We usually have this delicacy at the beach side preferably on a Sunday afternoon after church or any day on vaccay. Beautiful fresh lake tilapia fish and chips...home sweet home. These are the times I miss Uganda so much.

I would eat deep fried tilapia all the time if I had to.  It's one of my favorite local dishes.

Unfortunately this craziness for tilapia fish died out a little today- date noted Thursday, September 20th, 2012 at 9:00pm.

Earlier  I was making a bit of supper and I felt a little too hungry so I removed a small piece of fish from the others that were waiting to be lightly stir fried after a session of deep frying.

I took a bite and it was the best thing I had eaten in a long time. Then I took two other savory and mouthwatering bites and on the fourth I felt a little harsh poke at the back of my tongue.

Feeling like it was the little usual bones that stuck for a while when i was eating fish but could be easily washed down with water or a large lump of rice, I continued devouring the fish.

Only a little while later, I noticed the bone was not going down and all the time I swallowed, it cut my throat painfully and a little deeper.

As the awful realization downed on me, I rushed to the fridge and poured myself a huge glass of water (The McDonalds London Olympics gigantic glasses). I took the whole glass down but unfortunately I could still feel the goddamn thing in my throat.

I then went ahead and took another glass but all in vain. I then took a huge lump of rice and another two to push the rice down but all in vain.

Suddenly I remembered I had an apple in the fridge and it was heavier than that damned failure of rice. I tried eating the whole thing but nothing was gonna move that stubborn bone down there.

This other part is gonna gross you out; so I decided to gag too and unfortunately it was in vain but at this point my throat was on fire. I finally gave up and sat at my laptop helplessly.

Dang! Suddenly I remembered I had an even heavier thing-The internet. The solution to absolutely everything- and I am talking every goddamn thing.

So I ran to the internet, Googled "How to get the fish bone out of my throat?" and then there were the answers on display;
- Drink Olive oil to soften it but it might be a myth
I left my computer, ran to my dressing table, reached out for my olive oil and took 3 big gallops .Luckily it didn’t taste so bad. Still nothing
-Drink water and it will wash down. Tried that
- take some vinegar. I rushed out for vinegar and to my disappointment there was nothing in my fridge.
-Drink orange juice, coke or.....
Now I was not reading anymore. My throat ached and I strained it, coughed but it was all in vain.

Suddenly I read; no matter what, do not strain the throat or cough or it will push it even further into the flesh. Panic washed over me, it was too late; maybe I was gonna die or something.

Naturally, I logged onto Facebook and posted about how the stupid bone was stuck in my throat and  fortunately I got some answers. On the negative side, the same answers I got were the ones I was reading on the internet earlier.

Almost giving up hope, I typed; "fish bone stuck in my throat, help." Then I stumbled upon a blog in which the blogger was saying how he had the same problem previously.

Oh happy day! I did my happy dance then read on.  Apparently, step one was to look at the mirror, feel the location of the bone with a finger, get a flash light then use a pair of tweezers to remove.

I looked around for tweezers and I couldn't find any. I pulled out my nail cutter and tried to use it but this was all in vain.
Meanwhile my throat ached so bad I almost cried.
I suddenly thought of something brilliant but dangerous...SCISSORS!!

SCISSORS, OMG right?!!
But I didn’t even think twice about this, I rushed to my housemate's room, asked her for her pair of scissors and went straight to my dresser.

One of my friends who was in the room begged me not to use the scissors in my mouth but in vain. We debated over it for a few minutes. She said  I’d cut my throat in the process or damage something within but all that was just passing air.

I suddenly stormed out determined. I went into the bathroom to get started.

My third housemate walked into the bathroom as it was open and looked at me struggling to take out the bone with the scissors.
She asked me to show her and she could help since this often happened to her.  She told me to open my mouth, took the flash light from my hand together with the scissors and started for the bone.

She pushed it while my mouth watered, i tried to gag, spat but nothing was shifting and someone kept distracting me by calling my phone (I was using the flash light up on my phone).
All this was getting on my nerve and yet I and my housemate were still determined to take out that little demon.

Anyway she continued hustling and she tried to cut the bone into half but in stead she slashed my throat a little. Ouch right?? It bled and I spat in agony. She asked If she could stop but I was determined to take the little rascal out. 

After a long struggle of poking and trying to remove the fish bone, she finally managed to pull it half way out of the flesh. I gagged and then it surfaced out. I spat it out in the sink with all the relief I could master.

I was relieved although a bit of blood flowed out and my throat hurt beyond description. Gross right!

Consequently, I was finally grateful to my housemate and scissors for saving my life and taking out the bone.

Sadly, I will not be eating fish in a long time. This experience was most unpleasant and painful but at least I managed to get the damn thing out of my mouth. 

Anyway moral of this story is always be careful when eating fish. You never know what that tiny bone might do to you. 
But anyway as the saying goes, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger so I am gonna stay positive although I sure don't feel like it right now :'(. 
I have wounds and a scar in my throat right now....

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

pages from my diary

              Diva Fever:

Pages from my diary
“A faction; facts mixed with fiction, based on the life of a girl whose troubles where self-imposed and was looking for impossible answers hence resorting to dangerous solutions.”
“A story of a lost child with lost dreams and thoughts.”
“Tales of a girl everyone referred to as that bitch.”
“A goose bump version with diva concoction that makes a good girl wanna strike”
Hope Kayenne

“True definition of a diva whose motives will not last following a wine glass or a class sign”

‘Cause she’s toxic!
Everyone always expected me to be the brave and composed one and I wouldn’t have stopped at anything to prove that I was that person. The invincible, perilous and scary….well…. Holly. Yup!  People always thought I was some kind of “don’t mess with me monster” but to be honest I had “problems” which were actually not really problems when I reflect back on them. I looked for the easy way out of anything and I always unquestionably came up with a maladroit decision but my BFF Olive Miognion had my back all this time. Trust me the saying about short cuts always leading to trouble is all the more very true but we are not there yet…

About those problems will probably come back later but firstly, I have to talk about my reputation as tornado spearhead. The happening chaos and the “it” kind of magical stupendous events were started by none but the famous Holly Ahoy alongside Olive. The girl who drunk dirty water from the toilet was definitely one of her fortunate victims who never got shaving cream in their shampoo or got a good taste of local brewed beer in their hair at some hung out of town on a very provocative Saturday that sent goose pimples flooding your bare arm…

It was always; “don’t cross her way she is very evil” or “don’t even get into that fight she’s real messed up and she’ll take you there with her”.
So I was like this crazy girl everyone was either too worried for or too scared of and it did not bother me a bit. To me, life was as perfect as always and I couldn’t have changed it for anything. By then no one was worth changing my life for except Olive and she did not mind a little bit the way we led our lives.

I mean all my life I had this demon that convinced me that life was about hunting “the one”. The “one” sadly was not such a good idea as my mum had always warned and anticipated.  Each time I however met a guy and he didn’t try to take advantage of me immediately, I would think that he is the one.
Conversely, as time went on I realized that actually guys had learnt the trick of the good boy thing and apparently all of them were up for the act of making good impression first time and cunningly snaking in when the right time to ditch the wine glass always in your hand did not come, to their convenience of course.

 Soon I just became an angry girl who didn’t really care about meeting the right guy. By all means and order of heaven I discouraged pretty much all my friends who have/had boyfriends who were shady or prospective shady elements in the relationship.

 At first they were grateful and thought wow you are really the best friend but soon enough they started pointing out the angry tone that I possessed whilst advising them about guys and there and then they understood I was heartbroken and did not try to lecture me but only did what the truest of friends only could do.
They hooked me up with the love of my life. But that is really the end of the story meanwhile the whole big lot of surprises is just to come.

Missed class, got expelled, got busted by authorities,  got caught trying to cut a fence to raid the nearest club by the neighborhood; whether from boarding school or from home way before curfew was a no go zone for me.
 But above all I stayed at the top of the class. Yes I Holly did it. I so did because, you know what I had a name to prove.  And this goal I did acquire just before I left high school because I knew university had no room for playing mean cheerleader and the secluded new girl who wears the same sweater to school every day.

My life was indeed the ultimate drama for no mama and I took every bit of it as though I was the pilot of my own fate; no regrets, no turning back but instead plunging the knife even further into my victim’s chest because I had run these anomalies before and I had to take it out on someone who was as willing as I was to take the never ending oath of magnitude which never came easily even for me!

That is why for a long time my life was so swift like Speedy Gonzalez and I did not wait for the right time for me to grow up or get to where I wanted to be at the right time but rather I pushed my way real hard no matter what it meant, what I had to do or what the consequences of my actions would be right from elementary school or kindergarten I think…

read the continuation @ http://missknowitalll.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

it's not just a bag

Many a time, I have heard women complaining about how their bags have been snatched by guys speeding on a motor bike and I am thinking damn, how careless or unlucky can you be.

I used to see warning advertisements on TV where women’s bags get snatched by men speeding on a motorcycle in Malaysia.

Actually, recently, my friend told me how her bag was trying to be snatched by a guy on a bike and she fought with the guy for her bag like her life depended on it. She pulled on one end like part of her body was being ripped off and the only way to save it was to pull so hard to keep it on.

It reminded me of “the white chicks” when one of the Wayans brothers (acting as one of the Wilson sisters) ran after the bag thief who had stolen his/her bag .
He/she ran like her whole God damn life depended on that bag and no whirl wind even so strong could separate her from her bag. And when she finally caught up with the bag thief, the guy was like “damn lady, all that for a bag?”, and she went like “It’s not just a bag it’s Prada.”

This is one of my best quotes ever from my collection of favorite chic flicks. I have had epic quotes but this one was an absolute epitome of a real girl.

The video J

My bag of course is no Prada but it sure as hell’s not just a bag. Sometimes my boyfriend wonders if I carry a whole house in my bag. It always contains; an extra pair of earrings, nail polish, mascara, lipstick- generally all my make-up, pocket tissue, my sweater in case I get cold, my shades, my wallet oh boy the list sure goes on. So you really can’t say it’s just a bag J.

Some of the thing I carry in my bag; 

However this is my daily big handbag I use mostly during the day time. Actually I mostly carry it to school as I’m there all day and week so I’ll need all these necessities.

But this was Saturday night and  this meant it was my club night. So I carried my mini evening purse only containing my make-up (the essential ones- lipstick, mascara, gloss and a comb) and my wallet.

As I and my friends had failed to get a taxi (cub) from the usual station that we always got our taxis from, we had to walk all the way to another station just a few blocks away.

At the back of my mind, there was no single trace of care or thought that my bag could be snatched by some greedy stranger on a bike. All I needed was to get a little tipsy and go shake some stress away. I already had my mini- bottle of wine downed and all I wanted then was to get my booty moving in a Goddamn club. Was that too much to ask for- apparently yes!

So as we walked up north I swung my bag in a carefree and free spirited manner as we chatted away about how the night had so much in stalk for us. Actually there was a rumor that the club had been locked for a private event, now I remember. That’s what all the “chatting was all about.”

All of a sudden we were rudely interrupted by the violent almost thunderous sound of a motorbike and two random shady-looking dudes speeding up very close to us. Then I felt a harsh tag on my bag followed by the straps getting roughly ripped off.

I stood there in shock as the two guys sped off, after their failed attempt at robbery. I quickly snatched up my bag and breathed a sigh of relief. “What just happened?” I, my sister and my other two friends asked all at once.

It had happened so fast. I wasn’t even sure if my bag hadn’t been taken and I was just hallucinating that I still had it. We all stared at each other in shock and relief.
I mattered big thanks to Jesus, God and the rest of the trinity.  This was a sign from a world above, I thought.

“You know what this means,” one of my friends said. “Let’s get this party started; this is actually a good thing for us.” Yes we all had to agree it was.
I grabbed the mini bottle of wine from my sister and finished what was left. “Let’s get this started.”  

But deep down I only thought how lucky I was and how if my bag was taken, my passport (I walk with it as it’s required to do so in Malaysia if you are a foreigner), my credit cards, my phone- oh my phone. I would die. It’s like my digital dog, doll and companion.

Anyway back to the main point, if it wasn’t for the side strap on my pass, my bag could have been snatched. I was saved by the God damn strap which I had debated to myself over and over again. I wondered if I should just hold my bag under my arm or use the side strap hours before I went out. I  therefore had concluded that having the strap on was more convenient.

How lucky was I right? My mini house was saved by the side strap on it and that’s who I decided to thank at last. It all got ripped off and ruined but I still kept It as my lucky charm.

So ladies out there, be careful with your bags. Some twisted guys out there just target ladies walking uncaringly and spaced out  on the road just to snatch their purses. They probably think all girls’ bags have a pot of gold or something so treat it like it actually does.

Anyway the moral of the story is always hold your bag by the straps if you are not too sure because it is not just a bag ;). 

Monday, 17 September 2012

what a girl wants

My girly world

I really love lots of girly staff.  I am that stereotypical girl who loves;
 -     Shopping
-    'Taking pictures
-     Photoshopping and glamorizing up my pictures and things
-     Partying
-      And really cute staff
-      Hanging out with friends
-     Totally a feminist 

Most girls hate being girly or called girly- I on the other side embrace all the femininity with all its goodies it comes with.

Here’s my gallery to show and share all that with you- enjoy;

                                     Just me all glamorized 

The emo look is what I was going for here. All it takes is a picture and Photoshop. Just keep contrasting the lighting , the background and the original picture to get the perfect look you desire. I do this for all my pictures. Remember that there are two types of Photoshop;

- Good Photoshop : where it almost looks real
-Bad Photoshop: it looks as fake as Nicki's ass and Micheal Jackson's (RIP) nose
So in the end, its really what you are aiming for.

This was last Christmas. Just wishing everyone a merry xmas.  . My own personalized xmas greeting card ;) . It's always this outburst of joy that the holidays give me to make me just wanna go around and spread the love like Jolly Old Saint Nicholas.

 I’m really into fashion photography so this is for photography site that I am yet to start working on.
Most of these other pictures are just my stepping stone to fashion photography.

This was Halloween last when I really needed to bring out the bunny in me. I tried to bring it on J.
Halloween's always my favorite time of the year, month and day. I love Holidays but Halloween is like an early Christmas present but instead of being all colorful and jolly like, it's trick or treat and blood....maybe real blood; maybe not ;)

                                           My friends;

                                         My best friend jojo <3

I love jojo so much. He and my twin sister Faith are the reason I get to smile all the time I’m down.
These two girls have always been on my side like forever.


Me and Jinnah

During my class breaks I just chill at the common place called “plaza” in school with friends. Gossiping, taking pictures and sharing ideas oh and eating.
I love my food J

I really love my shoes. All my shoes always keep me company when I am really lonely because they all have a personality - lol I am not saying this in a psychotic way.
 I wrote an article about shoes- “”heels…a girls secret” previously check it out .

Generally, that’s my girl world and my photo (shop) tips to a great girly profile together with shoes and friends. What I think makes a girl (not in a shallow way LOL) but like in a fun way.